Messiah Complex

He sat on that hillside.
It was a hillside that overlooked the city.
He could see the lights glimmering
through the darkness

The lights were
static
only moving
with each shuddered movement
of his eyes
of his body

the city lights trembled
as he cried
as he wept
for it
for the city

they were
arrogant tears
tears born out of a sense
of having more than them
having more
knowing more
as if, in him
were all abundance
as if he knew
what the fuck he was doing
and
where the fuck he was going

arrogant tears
that dare to care

arrogant tears
that dare to say
I do this because
I love you

As if he had something to give
that they didn't already have

tears for them
as if he could save them
as if he knew how to save himself

and, as these thoughts dawned on him
with the dawn
he packed up his meagre belongings
and thought about
the tears he cried
and he cried
for himself
and for his
own
feelings of
lostness
and his own longing
for direction and salvation.