Getting into the Christmas Spirit

Families are the place

where we develop our own

particular preferences

for participation

and

for separation

we discover our own desire

for belonging

and

for escaping

for being together

and

for being alone

depending on the role we played in our family

we will get greater or lesser rewards

for belonging and participation

and

greater or lesser reward

for separation and escaping

the former reward coming from the others

who pat us on the back for participating

the latter reward coming from ourselves

for there is no one else around to reward us

those that don't participate are often seen as selfish

selfish, for having other ideas

selfish, for having other desires

selfish, for having other values

selfish, for having other priorities

selfish, for having other beliefs.

This is the nature of conformity

within any system

and families

are a system like any other

with its instigators and enablers

with its scapegoats and martyrs

with its saints and sinners

with its black sheep and bum-licks

Christmas is a family time

Even for those without families

it is a family time

we all know it,

even if we locked ourselves away

in bomb shelters,

that Christmas

is a family time

and, as Christmas time approaches

some people get excited,

because of what they experienced in their families

either through actuality,

or through edited memory

and for some

this excitement and anticipation

is reversed,

triggering something more like

a sense of dread

and foreboding

The participators and conformers

tend to not understand those that

experience this dread and foreboding

and wonder why

they just can't get along

telling them that they are making it

more difficult for themselves

if only you played ball,

life would be so much more enjoyable

and so it might

and so it might