The jar did the rounds of those gathered. Each tested their strength against the lid that refused to loosen. Hands clasped around this un-budging lid, some faces screwed up slightly in the effort, and others went a little more red-in-the-face than they would have liked. Of course, the jar was passed around the men at first, as if they were more capable, or maybe just to appease a fragile sense of masculinity. But, when no success came, one of the older women present, picked up the jar and knowingly, gave the lid a knock on the side of the table, after which, she opened the jar without strain; no bulging blood vessels, no red face, no strange groaning noises...just ease.
That little knock had broken the air-tight seal that was there to keep the lid from opening easily.
Sometimes we go to things hammer and tongs...and think that the amount of energy we are putting into something is what will yield rewards. The more we want a task to be accomplished, the more and more energy we invest in it. We often keep doing this without ever questioning the way in which we apply that energy. There are nearly always, more insightful and more creative ways to go about meeting challenges in our lives, and those ways can bring about the achievement of goals with less stress and strain.
Often the energy that we use in relation to our challenges, is stress, worry and anxiety. All of these ways of engaging with the challenges in our lives, drain our limited resources. Of course, these responses are justified, but, they aren't necessarily successful, and are for the most part detrimental.
Stress, worry and anxiety, drain energy that could otherwise be invested in some form of betterment. Neither of the three habits here, actually do anything really, other than drain our limited energies. In fact, most of them exist in the place of actually putting ourselves to making some situation better. Disguising themselves as useful, they slip into our lives while we are ruminating, milling things over, internalising, freaking out, wishing things were different or better, hoping for something to change, fantasizing about something else. They are wolves in sheep's clothing.
Those same energies could be used to engage intentionally with the problems we face, to seek out solutions, or make attempts at improving situations. Or, if the problem is actually beyond the reach of our control, we could invest our energies in making peace with all the things we cannot control in our lives. The more we know what we are actually doing, the less room there is for the toxins of stress, worry and anxiety, to poison our brains. A poison that can paralyse, or at best, hinders our progress, and clouds our vision.
Stress, worry and anxiety will never fully go away, but, we can journey. Some will question this, and defend their stressing, and their worrying, and their anxieties, as if they were old friends that they couldn't possibly leave behind. Some will simply not be convinced that we could live our lives without any of these, and to be honest, I am not saying that we can. But, I do believe that we can improve things. Like the martial artist who knows that getting stressed in times of conflict is actually detrimental to their performance, making them more clumsy and and stiff; they instead learn how to be empty-minded. We aren't all martial artists, but, we can learn something from them. It's something that is a little bit Zen.
We can begin to improve things for ourselves. We cannot dictate what challenges life will throw at us, but, we can make little shuffling steps into better positions, where we are better balanced, and can be more intentional. The more passive we are in relation to the challenges that face us, the more the stress energy builds. The more intentional, the less room there is for stress, worry and anxiety.
It's not easy. It involves change. It requires a little, dare I say it, faith.
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